I was just poking around my old files, and came across a little poem I wrote years ago. Remember when Stella D'Oro tried to make their Swiss Fudge Cookies dairy? And sales plummeted, because who really buys Swiss Fudge Cookies except Orthodox Jews, who eat them on Friday nights and Shabbat afternoons? But who can only eat them if they are pareve (dairy-free), because (traditionally, anyway - I'm not talking about the vegetarians here) most people have meat at their Shabbat dinner? And who, in fact, ate them so much that the cookies became known for their resemblance to certain Hassidic hats?
Anyhow, the pareve status has since been reinstated, so this poem reflects a fleeting moment in history. Enjoy it.
Ode to Swiss Fudge Cookies
Upon their redesignation as “OU-DE”
Chocolatey, round, and lactose-free,
Stacked up high or spread on plate,
Oft on Shabbos you’d call to me.
Your chewy center was the bait.
Crumbly edges eaten first,
So the middle slow to savor;
Yet, alas, your fate is cursed
Despite your rich and sensuous flavor.
Stella D’Oro, ‘til now our friend
Comes between us, our affair to end.
From fleishik tables you must play hooky.
Farewell, my pareve shtreimel cookie.