Tuesday, March 04, 2008

A Special Kind of Dumb

This morning I had the following conversation with a friend, who is also an American immigrant:

Sarah: I don't understand. Why are all these people voting for Obama?

Friend: Because they hate Hillary.

Sarah: What it is about him? He's got this "Obamarama" thing going on, and people are responding to it. Why? Why?

Friend: The bottom line is that Americans, as a group, are stupid. Don't get me wrong, I now live in a country where there is all manner of 'dumb,' but, boy, Americans . . . there are no words.

Sarah: Well, to be fair to Americans, our friend R. [who is from Toronto] once admitted that Canadians are 'no more and no less stupid than Americans.' Maybe everyone is stupid.

Friend: Yes, but Canadians are stupid in the manner of Europeans. And as we all know, Europeans are stupid in their own special way. But Americans, boy oh boy . . .

Now, I bring this up as a preface to the next story, so as to assure you all that when I bring up the foibles of Israelis, I am not singling them out for special treatment. I am 100 percent an equal opportunity stereotype monger, OK?

Now. Here we have this lovely news item, which goes basically like this:

Knesset Director-General Avi Balashnikov: Hey, ladies, it's International Women's Day!

Female Knesset Employees: Yay! Do we get mints on our desks?

KDGAB: No! You will be required to come to special presentations and take a self-defense workshop!

FKE: Um, why only us? Why not the men who work around here, too?

KDGAB: What? And take them away from their important work? Come on, you need these workshops. You need to hear how men discriminate against you, and learn to defend yourselves.

FKE: Yeah, whatever. Talk to the hand.

KDGAB: What? How dare you skip presentations that celebrate you and your needs! We planned all these activities just for you, and by jove, if you don't come and revel in International Women's Day, we'll . . . we'll . . . I know! We'll deny you promotions and pay raises!

FKE: You are discriminating against us because we failed to comply with a discriminatory policy that we, and only we, must participate in a day meant to decrease discrimination?

KDGAB: That's right, biotches. You snooze, you lose.

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