A Note About Episode III: I totally called it! (No spoilers)

I finally caved and looked at the last few pages of the novelization of Star Wars Episode III. Then, today, I caved again and looked at a book called "The Making of Episode III." Yes, spoilers everywhere (except in this post). But the good news is that even after the spoilers, I'm still totally psyched. Word has it that this episode is much, much better than the first two. Let us hope that the Force is with us and that those rumors are correct. So far I'm very pleased with almost everything I've seen.

Anyhow, remember way back when Episode I came out, and everyone, including me, was totally totally disappointed by the concept of midichlorians? Because where is the romance in the Force if having it is genetic, and not some kind of sensitivity to the Universe that anyone, including Chayyei Sarah, could learn if only she knew how?

And remember how everyone, including me, thought it was horrible that Lucas had made it that Anakin has no father? Like, what kind of cheap Jesus allusion is that?

Well, from the beginning, I had a theory. It was a longshot, but knowing what I knew about Star Wars and about the way George Lucas thinks (because, having a high midichlorian count, I can feel Lucas' thoughts. Right now he is feeling content. He must have just had a really good salami on rye), I thought that perhaps, perhaps, Anakin having no father could be explained in a satisfactory way if it turns out that CENSORED BY SPOILER POLICE. No one believed me, but I knew in my bones it must be true. And today in the "making of" book, I discovered that in fact my theory is correctomundo! Sarah wins this spectacular prize of an all-expense paid trip to Naboo! Three days and two nights in the luxurious five-star Padme Panorama hotel in Theed, including a duck tour of the lush Naboo countryside and glowing underwater Gungan city! And, just for appearing, we'll include a brand new landspeeder and a $10,000 shopping spree in Amidala's favorite clothing boutiques! You'll also spend a day having your hair done by Natalie Portman's hair designers, and will star in your very own parade! Thanks for participating in "Sarah knows Star Wars."

[the crowd cheers and we cut to a commercial for Snuggles fabric softener]

Home Sweet Home

So, I love my parents' new house. If you want to know why, this will give you an idea. Remember how much more real estate costs in Boston than in Cleveland . . . And also that the Boston house is a nice-enough house . . . but the new one seems like a palace!

Old House: 3 small bedrooms
New House: 4 spacious bedrooms

Old House: 1 bathroom
New House: 2.5 bathrooms

Old House: Tiny kitchen
New House: Breakfast nook (and a garbage disposal! I love that!)

Old House: No "play area" for the nephews
New House: Family room

Old House: Covered carport; car ices over
New House: 2-car garage

Old House: Beautiful front and back yards, but no convenient place for a sukkah
New House: Sun room off the family room that can be converted to a sukkah for the holiday.

Old House: Hot as heck in the summer
New House: CENTRAL AIR CONDITIONING!!!

(I hope I didn't just ruin my parents' chances of ever selling the old one . . . it's really all about real estate values. )

The downside: Leaving everything I know in Boston. :-(

The other downside: Utter lack of decent public transportation in Cleveland. There isn't even a way to get a taxi; you have to call the day before. What is up with that?

But all in all, I'm so happy for my parents, and for me as well. Especially since now there will be no more of the "Doda will sleep on the couch" nonsense when the whole family is together. And there is central air conditioning. Thank God.

Little note about my Pesach so far: I did not bring any winter clothes, and on Saturday and Sunday it snowed nonstop. At least a foot of snow in 2 days. So I was cooped up with my parents for 3 days . . . . I love my parents a lot, but, you know . . . .

. . . though I have to say, the food my mother made was amazing. If you are going to be cooped up, having a succulent roast beef, fluffy kneidlach, and her incredible Pesach rolls around is a good way to do it. YUM.

FYI

Note to friends: My VOIP line is now down. I'm not sure I'll be able to get it up at my parents' house, since as far as I know they function with a dial-up connection. We shall see.

Meanwhile, until further notice, you can reach me on the cell phone I'm borrowing from Craig the Awesome.

The New Pope

I will leave it to other bloggers to write long, complicated, nuanced posts analyzing the history of the new Pope and his possible future impact on the world and particularly on the Jews and Israel.

For me, my first reaction upon hearing the news was: He is German? And he is how old? So in 1945 he was . . . let's see . . . hm, right, I see.

Then I open the newspaper and see the words "Hitler youth," and it's over for me.

Is this a nuanced approach? No. If I were writing about this for a paper I'd have a lot more things to say on issues like abortion, women's rights, Catholic relations with Muslims, poverty in Africa, etc etc. But this is my blog, and how I really feel is: Hitler youth. Nothing else to say.

No, I cannot just "get past it." Hitler killed my family.

A 78-year-old German is Pope. Great.

Lord, make it go away!

***UPDATE***

All right, all right, I was wrong. I stand corrected.

Sheesh.

Thanks to all the people who fed me the delicious crow. :-)

Be My Star Wars Baby

Well, today is my last full day in California. My nephews have been so adorable. I'll miss them very much.

Last night, Ilan and I took the Return of the Jedi cards which my sister had given me, and the Return of the Jedi cards which He Who Must Not Be Named had given me, and put them all in order and merged them. For his efforts I promised to give Ilan any doubles we find. I'm happy to report, tentatively, that it seems we do indeed have one complete set of the cards (not of the stickers, alas. Time for ebay.) I feel complete, somehow, like my life has come full circle. (Yes, I'm scary.)

I'm so excited for the release of Episode III on May 19, I could positively die.

This morning, Ilan came into my room to wake me up, and we cuddled and I explained some of the Star Wars story to him. He has not seen all the episodes, so he had so much to catch up on. Doda, why did they freeze Han Solo? Why was he running from Jabba the Hut? Did Anakin and Padme get married in Episode II or III, Doda?

As I write this, Ilan and Nathan are in the backyard, having a duel with the lightsabers I bought for them yesterday. I'm so proud.

It's a good life when you have the Force.

Quick Update

Greetings from sunny California.

I'm having a great time. I've watched an hour of Star Wars: Clone Wars with Ilan; I highly recommend renting the DVD for any serious Star Wars fan. It fills in a lot of what happens between Episodes II and III. Yesterday we went to the "Happy Hollow Park and Zoo" and pet goats, fed a Llama, and watched a puppet show of Little Red Riding Hood. A fabulous time was had by all. My nephews are adorable and my sister and brother-in-law are super nice to me, so all is well.

Note to friends: My VOIP line is up and running. Please be mindful when calling of the time difference and the fact that my nephews go to sleep around 8 pm PST.

I know the way to San Jose

And from Jerusalem, it is very, very long. Thirty-one hours door-to-door, to be exact. By the time I arrived at my sister's house, I felt like something the cat had dragged in after it had been smushed by a truck. But I'm here, safe, and got a night of sleep and a shower since arriving, so am feeling better.

'Twas so nice to travel with Yael from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv to Paris to Dallas! She is one great travel companion.

No details right now, but I just want it on the record that De Gaulle airport sucks, many (though not all) of the people who work there are mean rude hateful people who suck, and being stuck there for five hours did nothing at all to make me any less inclined to make mercilessly tasteless jokes about the French. So there, you yucky De Gaulle airport! And no I will not spend $13.50 on a container of orange juice! And note to the obnoxious kid working in passport control: I am living my dream of being a freelance journalist, and Yael helps people stay healthy all day, and you, you yucky obnoxious kid, are stamping passports in De Gaulle airport. So who's got the power now, meathead?

Ahem. I'm fine.

Note to self: The next time American Airline puts you in the middle of a row, and you request a seat change, and the only other seat available is in the back row next to the window, keep the middle seat. I spent four hours from Dallas to San Jose with no view (engine), and a loud humming in my ear (engine). So not fun.

Note to friends: My VOIP phone is not yet plugged in. In my packing haste I neglected to pack 2 cords that I need; we're going to Fry's on Sunday to replace them. Will keep you updated.

Shabbat shalom from sunny California.

The Turn of the Screw

By Henry James.

I am reading it, slowly.

I am getting annoyed with the narrator. It is so obvious that these ghosts are all in her head. She is making them up because she is a bored governess in pre-television East Nowheresville, England. Every single thing that happens she twists around in her head to turn into a "proof" that there are ghosts in the house and the children are in danger of being . . . what? possessed? turned to evil? You can tell that even the cook is starting to worry about her and is just humoring her.

The only screws in this book are in the narrator's head, and they are loose. I don't know if I have the patience to finish this "ghost" story that is really just a "the governess needs to get out more" story.

Of course, kudos to Henry James for making the story work on two levels. Still, I've made up my mind and the governess definitely needs a day off.

A Little Gift

Sometimes Hashem gives you some small, unexpected pleasure that just makes your day.

I have been dreading my flight to California. When I flew to Boston just a few weeks ago I arrived so tired. Ever since, I have been anticipating that by the time I get to California, several hours further away, I will be ready to sleep for 30 thousand hours.

I am flying from Tel Aviv to Paris, where I will be stuck in (yucky, dirty, smelly) De Gaulle airport for 5 hours, just long enough to be bored but not long enough to leave the airport. Then I'm flying to Dallas, and from there to California.

Yuck, yuck, yuck. Dread, dread, dread.

About 3 days ago I was talking to my excellent friend Yael . . . you know, she with whom I have been close since we were 7 years old? She who made aliyah a few years before I did? She who decorated my apartment and stocked my fridge with food before I first arrived in Israel? She who continues to be an excellent friend? She with whom uncomfortable silences are not uncomfortable, because we're such old friends?

It turns out that Yael is going to L.A. next week, and we will be on the same flights to Paris and Dallas. How amazing is that? She's a great travel companion, I can tell. We already agreed that if one of us wants to sleep, we won't bother each other. Companionship when you want it, silence when you don't. It is clutch.

The worst thing is when there is someone annoying on your flight whom you know, and then you feel like you have to talk to them even though you don't want to. What a wonderful gift that if Hashem is going to put someone I know on the flight, it's a good friend with whom I feel comfortable just being quiet.

Baby Star Wars Fan

In a few days I am flying to California (note to burglars: I'm sub-leasing the apartment! HA!), there to see my nephews (and also my sister and brother-in-law, but, you know, mostly my nephews).

Dear Sister tells me that my oldest nephew, Ilan, who is seven, has recently discovered Star Wars. He peppers her with questions like "Eema, what does Darth Vader look like without his mask on? What do you mean he is Anakin Skywalker? When did he become Darth Vader? What do you mean they haven't released the middle of the story yet? What do you mean that the movies you saw when you were little were the end of the story? What do you mean they weren't exactly the same as the Special Edition on DVD?"

This is all terribly confusing for adults, so I don't blame Ilan for being confused. Dear Sister just tells him "Doda is coming soon. Ask Doda. She's coming."

I am pleased for several reasons. First, his attraction to Star Wars means, I hope, that he will not ask me to play with his Pokemon cards or Transformers, which bore me to tears. Second, now I have someone to take under my wing and guide in the ways of the Force. At last I can pass on what I have learned.

And third, my nephew is now old enough to have a working brain and a bit of an attitude, so I'm excited to be "working with" him. Dear Sister tells me that they went to a video store to rent Episode II, and discovered that the store owns only one copy, which was out. Ilan started saying, loud enough for everyone in the store to hear his seven-year-old high-pitched voice "what kind of video store IS this? How can a video store not have Star Wars Episode II, Eema?"

And you know, he's right.