Why do men do this?
In the last few weeks, I've gotten emails from three different men -- decent-seeming men! Around my age! Not from another planet men! --on various Jewish dating websites, asking if I'd like to be in touch, meet, etc. Well, technically, 2 of them contacted me out of the blue, and one of them was someone I had contacted months ago; he wasn't available back then, but now he recently wrote to say that now he is available and would like to meet.
In all three cases, we exchanged a few emails, and when they asked if they could call, I wrote back saying, basically, "that would be really nice. Here is my phone number. It will be great to hear from you."
In all three cases, they replied saying, basically, "great! And here is MY phone number. You can call me at that number any time. Looking forward." One of them wrote "in case I don't get around to calling you, you can call me at the following number . . . "
Needless to say, none of them has called me.
Now, we can go into all the psychology of this situation -- the control issues, the wimpiness, the desire to get close through a computer but only until it involves actually talking to a girl-- and the politics of it (why don't I call them?) -- but the bottom line is that they asked me for my number, and I think it's fair for me to think it's rude for them to then turn around and say "no, you, Sarah, should make the first call."
The message I'm getting here is that none of them is actually so interested. A man who is interested is a man who is calling. A man who is not picking up the phone to schedule a date is a man who is not so interested, for whatever reason. Am I right?
If I'm right, I'm not hurt, just annoyed. I realize that this absolutely has nothing to do with me. They don't even know me, so why should they reject me? The issue, really, is what should I do now? Try to prod them into becoming menschen by writing and saying "hi, call me old-fashioned, but I appreciate it when the man makes the first call"? Try to educate them in the hopes that perhaps one of them is, after all, a nice guy who just doesn't know what he is doing? Or just write them off and move on?
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