Mazal tov to Rivka K, who, with only 2 incorrect answers, narrowly beat Judah in the "I-know-Sarah-better-than-you-do" competition (original post, in honor of Parshat Chayyei Sarah, is found here).
Thanks to all 7 people who sent in answers: Rivka K, Judah Kaplan, Susan Jacobs, Jessica Q., Beth, Noa, and MiriamSDB (who wishes me to announce that she is a past winner, which she is).
Correct answers below!
PART I: MULTIPLE CHOICE
1. Which of the following has NOT happened to me since my aliyah?
a. Broke a lease after my apartment turned out to have extensive water damage and noxious fumes
b. Quit my first job because my boss was, shall we say, not creating an ideal working environment
c. So many men knocking down my door, I don’t know what to do with them all.
d. Amazing job in my field fell into my lap without my having to search for it.
CORECT ANSWER: C. It's incorrect because I very much DO know what to do with them all . . . just kidding . . . maybe . . . .
2. Of which of the following books/movies/TV series am I NOT a near-rabid fan?
a. Star Wars
b. Star Trek
c. Harry Potter
d. Lord of the Rings
e. The Matrix
CORRECT ANSWER: B. I am shocked - shocked!- that so many of those I thought were my nearest and dearest friends guessed The Matrix instead of Star Trek. How many times do I have to tell people "I respect Star Trek, but I am not 'osek' in it?" How many times do I have to tell people how much I love the scene in Matrix III where Neo goes to confront the machine king guy? How many times do I have to tell people that Star Trek and Star Wars are not the same thing? Please, people. Have some mercy here.
3. What is my official response to questions about Luke Ford?
a. His comments amuse me.
b. His comments embarrass me.
c. Anything that increases traffic to Chayyei Sarah can’t be bad.
d. No comment.
CORRECT ANSWER: D. I can't believe that I mentioned Luke Ford by name on this blog and he didn't pick it up. Perhaps he was too busy reading Lisa's blog. Ah, well. As Anne Shirley would have said, "the sun will continue rising and setting whether I'm linked to on Protocols or not."
4. Which of the following is NOT a friend from the “Old Country” who is now living in Israel?
a. Ari and Sarah Beth
b. Beth and Simcha
CORRECT ANSWER: E. And by the way: Ari's blog is here. Sarah Beth's blog is here. Beth's blog is here. And Judah's blog is here.
5. How is my Hebrew?
a. Started Ulpan at level aleph, now on level Bet.
b. Started Ulpan on level bet, now on level gimmel.
c. Started Ulpan on level gimmel, now on level daled
d. Started Ulpan on level daled, now on level heh.
e. Started Ulpan at level gimmel, now on level vav
CORRECT ANSWER: D. I'm flattered by the fact that 5 out of 7 people guessed E, that I've jumped two levels already, but no. I entered in Level Daled. Now, I'm a "high heh," almost a vav. (Level Aleph is beginner; Level Vav finishes with the assumption that you can understand a university lecture in Hebrew, which I'm positive I could not). My skills are pretty good, but I still can't engage in conversation in Hebrew for more than 10 minutes before losing my concentration.
6. Approximately how much money does Israel’s Income Tax Authority owe me, as far as they’ve estimated so far?
a. Under 5k NIS
b. 5k-10k NIS
c. 10k-20k NIS
d. 20k-30k NIS
e. 30k-40k NIS
CORRECT ANSWER: C.
7. The weekend course for which I often volunteer in the States and plan to bring to Israel is:
CORRECT ANSWER: E. And we are definitely moving ahead with it! The main question is whether to do it this spring, since people all over America are pumped to volunteer, donate funds, etc., or whether to wait until the fall in order to have more time to prepare. Either way, it will be amazing! If you live in Israel and want more information, send me an email at chayyeisarah at yahoo dot com.
PART II: HOT OR NOT?
8. Amir, the hairstylist HOT. I've written about him a couple of times. I have to find a new hairstylist, because Amir cuts mine too short, but he's so hot that, well, when he's got his hands in my hair . . . I don't want him to stop . . . I really have to find another place, maybe with an old Russian lady.
9. Shabi, the makolet owner HOT. I've mentioned him, too. Too bad about the language barrier, and his not being very religious, because he's my age. Of course, he also smokes like a chimney, which is NOT hot. But in general . . . I try to make an excursion to the makolet every day.
10. Ephi, my friend: Hot hot HOT. Gay, but hot. This is the same Ephi who inspired a heated and annoying discussion in the comments (deleted when I changed the blog template) about homosexuality and Orthodoxy, which was all the more annoying because I never said that Ephi is Orthodox. He's not. A wonderful amazing friend, yes. Great to look at, yes. Dating a man, yes. Orthodox, no. You know, a woman can be completely dedicated to halacha and always striving to be a spiritual person who loves Torah, and still have all sorts of friends. If all my friends were just like me, my life would be so boring! All I ask is that they are generous, smart, fun, self-aware, intellectually honest, humor my eccentricities . . . and don't try to do things like convert me to Christianity or sabotage my dieting attempts. Not so much to ask, right?
11. Orlando Bloom. CORRECT ANSWER: Oh, come on, he's so hot. Pretty boy, yeah, but did you see him in Troy? mmm mmmm yummy
12. “Garden State." HOT. I know, I know, I posted Susan's feelings about the film, not my own. I just wrote about how much I'm looking forward to seeing it. But in any case, everyone knows the film is hot. And, I did see it in New York. Loved it. Zach Braff: Hot. Natalie Portman: Hot (in that asexual, artistic appreciation sort of way). Peter Sarsgaard: Hot! The story: Hot. See this film! (PS It's going to be showing in Lebanon, but not Israel. What's up with that?)
PART III: TRUE OR FALSE?
13. I attended Columbia College. FALSE. Proud to be a Barnard chyck.
14. I got my MA from Columbia Journalism. FALSE. NYU, baby!
15. I hired someone to help me clean my one-room apartment. TRUE
16. I’ve been living without an oven for the past 15 months. TRUE, but I bought a gigantic toaster oven, big enough to bake a whole chicken or two kugels, in Duty Free on this last trip. (I will have you know, by the way, that it is possible to produce a 4-course Shabbat meal in such a way that none of the guests even notice that everything comes from a pot or a skillet. It just takes a little creativity and lots of shnitzel recipes.)
17. I’m so right-wing, I make Ariel Sharon look like Tommy Lapid. FALSE, I hope!
18. I am so left-wing, I make Tommy Lapid look like Ariel Sharon. FALSE, I hope! (One person guessed "true," which makes me wonder about her politics.)
PART IV: OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
19. Name at least 3 objects I mailed to Odd Todd.
ANSWERS here and here.
20. In at least 3o words, describe my sister's cooking abilities. Give at least 2 examples.
21. Why are my parents selling their house and moving to Ohio?
Because my dad got a job he couldn't refuse. Chayyei Sarah is a judge's daughter now! You think that might intimidate my dates?
22. In the world according to Chayyei Sarah, who are the Veela?
ANSWER here. God, that post was depressing, now that I look at it again. True, but depressing.
EXTRA CREDIT/ TIE BREAKER: What is my last name, and how do you know?
Smith. Agent Smith.