Monday, May 17, 2004

Apologies for the delay in posting. Between being sick and trying to get several assignments done, it's been pretty busy.

OK, a few updates.

1. Health update: Still coughing, but last night I got a full night of sleep. I'm starting to feel better. My voice is very hoarse; several people I interviewed yesterday told me I sound very sexy. If only they weren't women and married men! My biggest problem right now is the muscle I pulled in my ribs from coughing. Hurts when I lie down or try to lift anything.

2. Work is going very nicely. In addition to my regular job, I worked on two freelance assignments in the last few weeks that will pull in an extra $1100. Nice!

3. News in Israel is depressing as always. The more I read about it and the more I think, the more back-to-left-wing I'm becoming. That outburst a few days ago was a healthy, anomaly-like response to a heinous act, but when it comes to the overall picture, I wish we'd get out of Gaza already. Most of the country wants us to get out of Gaza. The only people who don't want us to get out of Gaza are a little more than half the people who happen to be members of Likud. Since when do they run the country? Oh, since Ariel Sharon became prime minister, right. I forgot.

However, I still have a problem about how and when to express to my religious (and therefore overwhelmingly right-wing) friends that I do not share their opinions. A couple of times I've been at Shabbat meals where people said . . . well, at one there was a woman who said that we should just kill all the Palestinians and be done with it. I felt evil for not arguing with her, but I could tell that my arguments would fall on deaf ears and didn't want to start an argument at someone else's home . . . and there was the meal where someone said we should just transfer all the Palestinians and be done with it, and I felt evil for not arguing with him, but again, deaf ears, someone else's house, didn't want to start an argument . . . and then there was the meal where someone said "our biggest mistake was not kicking them all out in 1967." Silently I thought that one over. In retrospect, it actually might have been the best thing for everyone, sad to say. But, well, we didn't then, and there are so many more of them now, and so it would be really bad if we did it now, and the past is over and done with, and there's no point in wishing we'd done things differently 37 years ago . . . and so basically I just don't say anything, feeling weak because I'd rather not have a confrontation than get into this with anyone.

4. To forget about Gaza, I like to go to my favorite website, and read the "What's happening" section. You could do that, too.

5. I lost my gopher boy! Young Moshe, the kid I'd hired to help with errands and cleaning on Friday, lost his ride to my house after school. So unless he finds a new one, I'm in need of a new high school kid who wants to earn some extra spending money. God, having someone else run my errands was so nice while it lasted.

6. I had an epiphany yesterday. In a conversation with a friend, I mentioned He Who Must Not Be Named, the guy who, 2 1/2 years ago, pulled my heart out, spat on it, shredded it, threw the pieces on the ground, stomped on them, broiled what was left, and fed it to the sharks. Anyhow, his name came up, and I realized . . .

I am happy.

I am happy . . . without him.

And so for the past 24 hours, I've been humming, in between interviews, that song from My Fair Lady:

There'll be spring every year without you.
England still will be here without you.
There'll be fruit on the tree,
And a shore by the sea.
There'll be crumpets and tea without you.

Art and music will thrive without you.
Somehow Keats will survive without you.
And there still will be rain
On that plain down in Spain,
Even that will remain
Without you.
I can do without you.

You, dear friend, who talk so well,
You can go to . . . Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire!

It goes on, but you get the picture.

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