You Can't Get a Man With a Blog

To the Tune of "You Can't Get a Man with a Gun"

(with apologies to Irving Berlin)

Oh, my mother can't turn on a computer, they say
That's why I thought I'd give blogging a shot.
I'd be out in cafes just a writin' away
And now tell me what have I got?

My popularity's clear, see the sitemeter here,
Among linkers, I'm the head hog.
But my rank with the fellers
Is lower than a cellar
Oh, you can't get a man with a blog.

My grammar's in gear, the emotions sincere
Yes, I shine like a ray through the fog.
But my syntax don't rate, when I'm out on a date
Oh, you can't get a man with a blog.

With a blo-og! With a blo-og! No, you can't get a man with a blog.
I don't live in a hovel. I can edit your novel.
You'd have a bestseller when the job was done.
But when I go for the hottie, he always gets snottie.
And you can't attract men with a keyboard or pen.
No you can't get a man with a blog.

I'm cool, brave, and daring with political airing-
My opinions lift us out of the bog.
But a look from a mister will raise a fever blister
Oh, you can't get a man with a blog.

Gals whose thoughts aren't gellin' are out kiss-and-tellin'
With the gentlemen and with the dogs.
But a man never humors a girl who might post rumors
Oh, you can't get a man with a blog.

With a blo-og! With a blo-og! No, you can't get a man with a blog.
When it comes to the letters, there ain't no one better.
My readers are often agog.
But a man won't propose on the merits of your prose
And you won't get a spouse or a house with your mouse.
Oh, you can't get a man with a blog.

(copyright 2004 by Chayyei Sarah)